Aug 4th, 2010
by German Jones.
Click Image to Download:
It began with my sister and her unconventional spelling of potential baby names. This was followed by a remembered impression from a lovely evening with Tuta: a concert featuring DeVotchKa and Gogol Bordello. And then came a singular movie and its defining selection of an Etta James tune. This was followed by a tremendous weekend with my Aunt and her own music recommendation of the song stylings of Phoebe Snow. All of this is featured on a new mix, combined with several more tunes I am convinced string together into a synchronous whole.
Posted in: mixtape.
Jul 27th, 2010
by German Jones.
The good thing about having a new place to live is that it still feels fresh when you pace within the walls all day long. Floor to ceiling windows is a step up from yellow wallpaper. (never be clever?) And in this way I wait for the one who will come to let me let down my hair. Because the only other way I know how to get down from here would be to jump.
Posted in: Uncategorized.
Jul 21st, 2010
by German Jones.
crowded train like a hug? well at the moment, as these folks head to the Cubs game, it is like a hug from jabba the hut.
Posted in: Uncategorized.
Jul 14th, 2010
by German Jones.
My mind would tell you that I crave the convenience and access. But the truth is that I like the isolation of being lost in the crowd. When you are surrounded only by trees it feels like drowning. In a crowded subway car it is more akin to a hug.
Posted in: Uncategorized.
Jun 13th, 2010
by German Jones.
One of the most desolate songs (per my memory only) on the Smiths’ The Queen is Dead album is the track “There is a Light that Never goes Out.” It is sonically depressing and lyrically about escape: “Take me out tonight where there’s music and there’s people who are young and alive driving in your car I never never want to go home because I haven’t got one anymore…” Not exactly sure why this pops into my head tonight, as I’m on a “date” with Thom and we’re watching movies/shows about cooking and I really couldn’t be happier. And this song appears in my head. I have that feeling, the need for escape, very very often. Tonight I do not.
I did earlier this evening, and then we went for a walk. The problem is that I get in ruts. And it is difficult to get out of them. Thankfully there are people like Thom who come along and jostle my soul a bit and then I am content. I need to remember that it never goes out.
Posted in: love.
Jun 1st, 2010
by German Jones.
Click on the photo to download my new mix. Features many of the usual suspects: Nouvelle Vague, David Bowie, Antony… and of course it has plenty of random cover songs. Enjoy!
Posted in: mixtape.
Jun 1st, 2010
by German Jones.
So as you have gathered in the last few posts, I am seeing a counselor to discuss (initially) issues of anxiety and (as it seems to be playing out) depression/OCD/you-name-it. To aid and abet this process I’ve decided to digest it here on the weblog. (As it is called Muse: Ich it would seem logical that I take my writing inspiration from myself.) Currently the task is to look for incidents in the past where I somehow got the impression that I can’t possibly complete tasks on my own, that somehow I am incapable of success. And I’m supposed to deconstruct my current misconceptions about how the world works. Not to mention I have some studying, cleaning, organizing, and living-in-the-moment to do.
This all sounds pretty blaze and boring blog-fodder as I write this, but for the moment this is the truth and for now that will be my focus.
Posted in: talk therapy.
May 4th, 2010
by German Jones.
woman in street, pleading, with a broke-down beat-up car parked halfway off the road/halfway on the sidewalk. gestures with her hands at any one of a line of cars waiting at the light, locked safely in their cars and the ability to turn and look away. me in car after leaving session with lots of insight in my mind, and a well of despair somewhere below that i need to decide when and how to deal with, if at all.
Posted in: talk therapy.
Apr 27th, 2010
by German Jones.
Today in counseling 2.0 I discussed my own feelings of inadequacy and their possible genesis in my youthful stint in the “gifted” program and my idolization of my sister. The plot thickened and kept me enthralled all the way to the end. We are going to meet next week, and at the moment it sounds really fun.
Posted in: talk therapy.
Apr 18th, 2010
by German Jones.
I take a moment to consider this day, some random Sunday in April during the 30th year of my life. Talks with Thom, my mother, and my sister. A lovely walk. A frightened nap and upset stomach. The same sort of dread the plagues my mind. Meals on the couch, music in my ears, and somewhere in the world a volcano is coughing up so much smoke that it covers all of one continent and most of another. Without my retainer my teeth are moving askew. I waste enough time to fill another life. There is still so much to do.
Posted in: Uncategorized.
